Grade jokes
I got my math test back today. I am Asian and raised in an Asian household, so I was worried about what I was going to get.
I got a 95%.
I'm having warm dinner tonight!
P.S. True story, lol.
Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.
And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
What are the three worst years of a black child's life?
First grade!
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
Asian Grading scale: A- Average.
B- Half Average.
C- Stupid idiot!
D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!
F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.
Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?
Me: Nah, not really.
Friend: What did they feel like?
Me: 7th grade.
Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
Why did Al Qaeda fail geometry?
'Cause they ruined the Pentagon.
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?
A Panera grade.
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.