Glove jokes
I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?
Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
Q: Why are orphans bad at baseball?
A: They can’t find home.
Why do orphans never play baseball?
'Cause they can never get a home run.
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
Gloves!
JK, he hasn't opened it yet.