I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
