Life's too short to want it.
"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?
What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot is real.
My favorite joke is my life.
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
Emo t-shirt:
"EXISTENCE IS FUTILE."
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
My life.
Tell me when you get it.
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
We're all unique, which is something we all have in common.
My entire existence
When you breathe.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?
Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!
What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead.
