New Exam Jokes

What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam? The doctor take off his watch

Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.

When the teacher gives me a F on my exam

But I have a AK-47 in my backpack

*is honestly the best policy*

Dad: ok son if you fail this test your no longer my child ok Son: ok dad AFTER TEST Dad: hay son how'd the test go? Son: son?

School Rizz:

You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.

I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam, when he stuck it in I started to squirm so he held onto my shoulder. I thought it was going well.

Until he grabbed my other shoulder as well. ( If someone can write it better go ahead, I know it sucks)

Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight

Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam

Doctor: Yup

Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger

Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor

Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.

Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, „Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?“ Jon said, „I’d be half blind.“ „That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?“ „I’d be completely blind.“ The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.

On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, „What would happen if I cut off one ear?“ Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, „I’d be half blind.“ The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. „What if I cut off the other ear?“ „I’d be completely blind,“ Amanpreet answered. „Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?“ „My hat would fall down over my eyes.“

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. 1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

„You’re not going to have time to finish this,“ the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet. „Yes I will,“ replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.

After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.

1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

„No you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late.“ The student looked incredulous and angry. „Do you know who I am?“

„No, as a matter of fact I don’t,“ replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice. „Do you know who I am?“ the student asked again. „No, and I don’t care,“ replied the professor with an air of superiority. „Good,“ replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.

Guy: Hey siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up? Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed

There was an exam music quiz question about gary glitter, now if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh turn over, you've got an hour" .. it's him..

shit my bad.. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids

why can't orphans fail a test because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it

Even if orphans fail their exams im sure their parents wouldnt... oh wait...

Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school Because he cheated on a test

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

Today we had a test on september 11th in school. I got a 9/11

Today I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled “Pisstiano Penaldo!”

My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.

The kid with a gun walked into my class room and fucking shot the teacher. He pointed the gun at me and asked,

"What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey at least he gets free food.