I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
My last relationship ended because my ex girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset, to be honest I didn't like her anyway, she kept telling me I never listen, or something like that
How am I an ableist? My ex girlfriend was in a wheelchair and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to 8th floor.
Ur butt is bigger then my ex-girlfriend’s butt and I love it
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend so I fuck her, turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about. And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her but this time it was her Identical triplet. There 3 of them.... AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Ex girlfriend “i can smell fish” Ex boyfriend “i can smell shit” Ex boyfriend “ well how many boys swam down there” Ex girlfriend “20!” Fish “ wasn’t mean I don’t swim around mistakes”
