Ex-Girlfriends Jokes

What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.

I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.

But no one would do it.

My ex-girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus driver's license.

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.

How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.

I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.

Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!

I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.

Sike, that's the wrong number!

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."

Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."

Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"

Ex-girlfriend: "20!"

Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."

I told my wife she was lousy in bed.

She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"