Ex-girlfriends jokes

What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.

I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.

But no one would do it.

My ex-girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus driver's license.

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.

How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.

I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.

Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!

I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.

Sike, that's the wrong number!

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."

Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."

Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"

Ex-girlfriend: "20!"

Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."

I told my wife she was lousy in bed.

She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"

I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.

I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.

"Hey, today was great."

"What happened?"

"I ran into my ex today."

"What's so great about that?"

"I was in my car."

My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.