Eulogy jokes

What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral?

The corpse.

What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"

A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.

This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"

"Of course," she says.

The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"

The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"

When I die, can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.

My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me when he was dying.

It seemed really important to him that I have it.

When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.