Elementary jokes
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.
Elementary school kids: School is fun.
Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.
What grade is the worst, like if in elementary?
Like this if you are in elementary, middle school, or high school.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"
The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.
Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.
What’s yellow and can’t swim??
A school bus with elementary kids.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."
Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~