Drug Lord jokes

Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?

Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.

I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.

The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.

My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies.

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.