What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
DoS Jokes
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
What do you call a baby Mexican? A paragraph because they aren’t a full essay.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
They both used to be straight.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?
A: Cha-ching!
What do you call intelligent people in America?
Tourists.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
