DoS

DoS jokes

Add joke

What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?

Skip.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.

Why do you think China should have a baseball team?

They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.

How do you blind an Asian?

Put a windshield in front of them.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.

How do Americans learn the metric system?

9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"

-not my joke

How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?

Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.

What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw in your dirty laundry!

A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.

One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."

What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?

They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”

A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."

The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"

If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?

They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.

What movie do orphans relate to the most?

"Spider-Man: No Way Home." (Either that or Batman.)