What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
DoS Jokes
What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap music.
What do kids play when they have nothing else to do?
Bored games.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
