Door

Door jokes

Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."

  • 3

    • 1 "Knock knock."

    2 "Who's there?"

    1 "Interrupting physicist."

    2 "Interrupting who?"

    1 "Muon!!!"

    If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.

    It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?

    My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

    I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."

    A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.

    One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

    Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

    At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

    When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

    "Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

    The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"

    I encountered a milf at a bar last night. Although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy.

    We were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time.

    Then, she asked me flirtatiously,

    "Have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

    I said, "Nope, not yet."

    She drank a little more, and said, "Well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."

    So she took me to her place.

    She took out her keys, opens her door, turns on the light, and she yells towards upstairs,

    "Mom, are you still awake?"

  • 8

    • One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.

    The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."

    So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.

    He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.

    Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"

    The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."

    The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.

    So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.

    So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.

    Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!

    My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?

    You: What do you call a door knob without the lock?

    Me: I don't know.

    You: Are you sure?

    Me: I don't know.

    You: Okay.

    Kid: Where do I put this paper?

    Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

    Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

    Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

    Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

    Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

    Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

    Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

    Kid: Yes, you told me to!

    Teacher: I meant at school!

    Kid: Ohhhhhh!

    Teacher: Duh!