Do jokes
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
Memes
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A selfie.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!
What do a banana and shampoo have in common?
Ur mom.
What do you call it when Panera Bread shuts down?
Panera is dead.
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
Why do orphans rob the bank?
Because they want to be wanted.
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)