I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
Director Jokes
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Cause every play has a cast.
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
Your momma is so ugly, the director thought she was a real zombie.
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?