Depp jokes

Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."

Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.

I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.

How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?

When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.

Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.

Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!

Amber Heard Daily Routine:

Get out of bed, drink coffee, take a shit on Johnny Depp's bed.

What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?

A DEPPression.

(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).

Why did the octopus cry?

Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.