Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
What do cows read? The moospaper!
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
You you you like like like like my joke nooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.
Why did the cow cross the road? To get too the Moo-vie theater
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"
And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."
Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"
And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."
And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"
What is a cow on two legs?
YO MAMA
Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.
What do cows call money?
Moola.
