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Christianity is technically just based on “o no I’ve become pregnant while cheating on my husband I’ll just say god gave me a child”

Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy" to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, i'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy.

Aw shit, the kids got to the computer, and are now sending radar signals to the police station, guess I have to burn them now to get rid of the evidence.