Child Care jokes

What’s the difference between kids and drugs?

I don’t hide drugs in my basement.

Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...

“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

Babies can spread a nasty smell,

especially when you haven't fed them for a month.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.