Ceiling jokes

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.

A friend texts to another:

"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"

The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"

To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"

A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.

I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"

My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!

How do you start an Ethiopian rave?

Stick toast to the ceiling.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.