Catholic jokes
Why do Catholic priests make the best cocksuckers for gay and bisexual men that are members of the Catholic Church?
Because there are glory holes inside of the confessional booths.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
Q: What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
A: Alien vs. Predator.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?
So there’s more for the priest.
What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.
If you look at this joke, you are going to meet a Catholic priest tomorrow.
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.
Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.
What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.