Car Accident jokes
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"
I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.
REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! Oh Quin, how was eating that tight butt? Must be nasty. I heard you met from rear ending him.
Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."
England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."
Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."
Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
A boy and his mother survived a car crash.
The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.