Cant jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is!
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can’t orphans play baseball/softball?
They never get to home!
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home to do it at.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Woman can't drive.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know what home is.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why can’t orphans play sports?
Because they don’t have a home team.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?
My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?
My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!
The songs: We understand you :)
Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.
Son: No way, you can’t see him though.
Mom: God!
Son: What?
Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).
Son: Also because I’m John Cena.
Mom: Where, where’d ya go?
John Cena: Hey, Mom.
Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.