Canning jokes
How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
What can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some are still in the air.
Why can orphans just be gay?
Cause they want to call somebody "daddy."
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
Bitch, I can make orange rhyme with banana.
BORNANA
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
Why aren't blind people in Brazil?
Because they can only read Braille. 🇧🇷 🙄
Q: Can orphans watch family-friendly movies?
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.
You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.
Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."
Why crack your fingers when you can finger your crack?
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa.
Eating sugar?
Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.
Smoking? Telling lies?
Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.