Camouflage jokes
A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.
First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.
When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.
The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.
"Why did you move?" the German asked.
The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."
How can you never find a hippo hiding behind a weed?
Because they're so good at it.
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek?
Because he's always spotted.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.