Burlap jokes

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.

I like my cigars like I like my women:

Seven years old coming from Cuba in a burlap sack.

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.

It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?

A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.

How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?

You’re dead if the rubber breaks.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.