What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex
They become in-bread
She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.
Jesus took bread and said: "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said: "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise and Peter said: "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"
A duck walks into a bar and says "Got any bread?" The bartender says "No bread here." And then the duck says "Got any bread?" And the bartender says "Didn't I just f***ing say that there was no bread here?" And the duck says "Got any bread?!" And the bartender says "You stupid duck! Or should I say d***? There's no bread here. Don't make me say that again, or I'll pin you to the wall with a nail." So the duck says "Got any nails?" And then the bartender looks surprised, and says "Of course I've got f***ing nails. Can't you see them?" And the duck says "Got any bread?" And the bartender throws the duck out of the bar.
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread waiting for a traffic jam
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket
bread is like a orphan plane and stale and no fam
I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when i got out i noticed he was left for bread, i felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this
Roses are red Roses are red Roses are red I smell burnt toast
bread
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
The bakery where I work is being robbed I said to the people I am calling the police then I realized they did not come for the money they came for the bread. Huh go figure.
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff
The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
FUN FACT: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
This isn't a joke my dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago he still hasn't returned should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year
I's so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
I knead bread
Say toast 3 times. Spell toast 3 times. What do you put in a toaster. What is the answer.
My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.
today i saw my son lick out a tub of butter, i told him to make a sandwitch without butter for a week (as a punishment) he said 'ok' and licked the bread. 'it's really easy to spread' he said. LOL!
