Did jesus cut his nails? No! His nails cut through him.
One day little Jonny and little Susan were in bible class and little susan had been tired that day so she kept falling asleep and the teacher said to little susan who is our lord and savier and little jonny poked her in the but with a push pin and she yelled JESUS CHRIST and the teacher goes thats right go back to be and then the next thing the teacher asked who gave up there son for our sins and little jonny poked her again and she yelled GOD AL MIGHTY and she says thats right go back to bed and the next quisten the teacher asked was what did ADAM SAY TO EVE after there 13th child little jonny poked her in the but again she yelled IF YOU STICK TAHT THING IN ME AGAIN I AM GOING TO BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHUV IT UP YOUR OWN ASS AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT
Suzy: How did johna fit in the whale? Teacher: Whales are very big but have small moths, so johna did not actually fit in the whale. Suzy: well the bible says he did Teacher: He did not Suzy: when I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven, maybe he went to hell Suzy: Than you can ask him.
What does the initials bible stand for? Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself. So I treat everyone like garbage
What does the Bible stand for? Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
How does Moses make his cup of tea Hebrews it
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope he got nailed before he died.
I moved all the bibles to the fiction section because there is no god as said Stephen Hawking in 2011 but in 2018 god said there was no Stephen Hawking
Did jeasus die a virgin Of course not he got nailed before he died!
Yo mama is so ugly she makes the devil read the bible
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. -- Which makes me an eighth theist.
Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice. Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.
