Beer jokes

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.

After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.

The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"

The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

Why do they never serve beer at a math party?

Because you can't drink and derive.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."

Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?

Hebrews.

A time traveler walks into a bar.

He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.

A Roman walks into a bar.

He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."