Beat It

Beat It jokes

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.

The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.

Cancer

Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.

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  • Song

    What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?

    Beat It.

    Brothel

    What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

    "Beat it. We're closed."

    Song

    What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

    "Just Beat It."

    Meat

    Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

    Drum

    Knock knock.

    "Who's there?"

    A man with a drum.

    "Well, tell him to beat it!"

    Meth

    You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

    Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

    Hollow Knight

    I just beat the Hollow Knight and found it takes 26 hours to beat it, but it took me 69 hours to beat it.

    Difference

    What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?

    A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.

    Christmas

    What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!

    What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!

    What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!

    What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!

    Friend

    My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:

    Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*