Bandage jokes

what's black and red and is a liquid?

my scars!

Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait.

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.

We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!

My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.