Bandage jokes

what's black and red and is a liquid?

my scars!

Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait.

We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.

Now we wait.

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.