And jokes
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.
Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.
Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.
Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.