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And jokes

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.

I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.

I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

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    • What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"

    Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

    And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

    When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

    "Sure."

    "What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

    "What?"

    "They both get thrown out."

    Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.

    But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.

    I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

    I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

    ...so I threw a dictionary at him.

    When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.

    What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?

    On the school bus, the pricks are on the inside, but on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

    When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.

    What is something in common with gay people and ambulance trucks?

    They both take it out the back and go "woo woo!"