And jokes
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?
She gagged and took it like a champ.
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)
So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.
And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?
I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?
One gets picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
Orphans' calendar consists of 362 days. Why?
Because they don't got homecoming, Father's Day, and Mother's Day.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.