And jokes
What is the definition of "Endless Love"?
Answer: Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing "Tennis"!
Who rates these jokes as "Newest" and "Hot"?
Answer: a S-T-O-O-G-E.
Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"
I went to the zoo the other day and it only had one dog... yeah, it was a shih tzu.
Like and comment if you play Fortnite!
Like and comment if you will be my friend!
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
Like, and comment if you're single.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
What’s the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?
McDonald's has a drive through. Twin Towers has a fly through.
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.