And jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"

Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.

There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

He said, "No, because you're black."

You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.

Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.

Me and my friend were cranking 90s in Fortnite, then our other friend joined, started flying a plane. We died like all the people in 9/11.

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair and screamed, "Rocket League!"

Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?

What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both never get erect.

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

Worst joke ever: me and my user.

What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

They can’t see their parents.

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.