And jokes
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
Do no doctor start with A and A+?
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
Down syndrome and brownies.
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"