And jokes
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
Why did the man walk into a bar?
Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!
Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...
What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
What do ambulances and gay men have in common? They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop! :D
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
Lol, dick, I'm the dick and duck.