scooter McFly

Registered on · 20 followers

Why does your grandma like gardening so much? Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees

What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday? Returning to the scene of the crime.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.

What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage? In a dog pound, people actually want them.

Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy? Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games

I got written up on 'Take Your Daughter To Work Day.' Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

Ms Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that. Little Johnny: Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

I went fishing with my grandpa and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun. A black man said where are the young ones.

My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals? Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.