What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A kinder surprise
scooter McFly
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it, you’ll only be screaming my first.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
I don’t know why people don’t say Cobain because I’m pretty sure Kirk Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did
What’s the difference between rape and marriage
With marriage you get to keep the screaming woman
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom Kill confermed
What do you call 3 kids laying down in the classroom Kill streak
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back
Why are women’s feet so small? So they can stand closer to the sink
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
A child, molester and priest walk into a bar He orders a drink
What do you call space Muslim A tuskin raider
Why are lesbians bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
The other day I went to a museum, my friend and I went to the holocaust section and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him. Why are you sad it’s just an Ash tray
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.