Women understand each other.
That’s why they argue.
Shower thoughts
@showerthoughts
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
What’s the most played song in Africa?
Have you ever seen the rain?
What’s the best song to play when visiting Africa?
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?
Land ho!
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Getting them back in the wheelchair
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A Gaelic
Two men are walking down the street, and see a dog licking its balls. One man says I wish I could do that. The other one says you can probably just pet him
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
White comedy week:
Monster Truck Monday
Trailer Park Tuesday
White Trash Wednesday
Take Your Sister Out Thursday
Fox News Friday
Storm the Capitol Saturday
Say You’re Sorry Sunday