Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Shower thoughts
@showerthoughts
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Why do tampons have strings?
So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.
Why are there no good Indian actors?
Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.
I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.
Why is it that when in PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but in public when I say "blacks against whites" or "boys against girls" I'm the bad guy?
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid?
It depends on who's shooting.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid?
It depends on who's shooting.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Why can’t a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Because their focus is way off.
I know you’re feeling in a haze, but please enjoy your last three days.
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
What’s another name for a woman giving birth?
Unloading the dishwasher.
What’s another name for a woman giving birth?
Unloading the dishwasher.
What is the difference between a prostitute and a wife?
A prostitute will fulfill your needs with your money; a wife will fulfill her needs with your money.
Pro marriage tip: Let your wife know you’re all about women’s rights. There’s no reason she needs to talk that much; it’s not like replying to her is voice activated.
Pro marriage tip: Let your wife know you’re all about women’s rights, especially the right to remain silent, because all appliances should be silent.
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
Why does the Avon lady walk funny?
Because her lipstick!