What do alcoholics and amputees have in common? They are both legless
Shower thoughts
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah witness had sex with me so hard she turned to Christianity
What song do you play out of emo kids funeral Van Halen’s jump
What song do you play at a emo kids funeral House of Pain jump around
I told my brother If he wanted to have a Wonderful first day of school then he should put cook book in the women’s sports section at the school library.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cook book in the women’s sports section
What game do emo kids love the most Hang man
What do orgasms and impulses have in common? I don’t care if they have either of them
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood His hand caught on fire
What do you call a crowd of horny white women? A field of cotton waiting to be picked to be picked
What did God say when he made the first woman? Where is your dick at?
What’s the difference between a black man and a Jew One was born burnt
Why are orphans so bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house looks like
What is the difference between white people and coal It’s bad for the environment to burn coal
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of aids
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV? His little brother with the Console
What do you call a dog turd in China? Waste of food
What’s worse than running with scissors? Scissoring With the runs
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down