What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?
A brunette with bad breath.
Shower thoughts
@showerthoughts
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:
Starters - role play and stripping.
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.
Dessert - Blowy.
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.
We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent? She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.