Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
Shower thoughts
What's the difference between a casino and a church?
You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we."
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men know where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you to do you? This is my seat after all."
The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know its going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to were the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "you know what brother? I would also like a coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each others shoes and peeing in each others cokes?"
If Government can print money
Then why are we paying taxes?!?
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
What’s another name for cuming inside a woman? Loading the dishwasher
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
For centuries the catholic church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
Chancel culture!
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-mobile.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket. How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans’ vest tight
Who was the most successful Transgender and Transrace person in history? Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth? Gingervitus
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead? She unlocks the handcuffs.
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer? He shot a Ginger.