I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me while he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
Worst Jokes Ever
Dark humor is just like water,
some people get it, some people don't.
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Like if you have a dick, or you are an orphan.
Like if you think I'm stupid.
Maggot.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
Why do orphans hate plane rides?
Because there’s no home to come back to.
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
Heaven is like university: no one gets in.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
Why can't Mexicans cross the border? They always sneak powder in.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
What did the British soldiers say while in the trenches? "Damn, it's windy out here!"
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
When you're lonely, watch a scary movie. You won’t feel lonely anymore!
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.
