Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!
Me: Have you ever tried African food?
You: No.
Me: They haven't either.
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
"Baby Don’t Herd Me."
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
What were Princess Diana's last words?
Have you been Dri...?