What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Worst Jokes Ever
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
Which sex position produces the ugliest children?
Go ask your mother.
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
My life.
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
