Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
My shirt is only red when I think about sex.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to download a free version of Windows.
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? Nine.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
You. You're the joke.
You were born on the freeway, you know why?
Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈
Why did the bike fall over?
'Cause it was wheely tired.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant suits.
They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.