Worst Jokes Ever
How were Stephen Hawking's best mates, Siri and Google?
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 7 feet?
The finish line at the marathon bombing.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
Have they tried switching him off and on again?
Was he under insurance claim?
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."
What lives on the forest floor?
Forest Gump.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
My PC.
What were Stephen Hawking's dying words?
"Restore factory settings."
How do kill a redneck?
Wait until he is fucking his sister and take the brakes off his house.
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.