Worst Jokes Ever
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trombone.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
Why did Bob Ross die?
Because the paint brush stabbed him.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
What's green and furry?
Fiona from Shrek.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
Yeah, I keep telling everyone 9/11 jokes, but they all just crash and burn.
How did Steven Hawking die?
His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.
Mr. Bunler.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.