Worst Jokes Ever
Some man was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the wifi.
My class is my house is quite. I suck a dick, now one cares.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.
What does Stephen Hawking have for food?
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.
I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.
Are you beef?
Because you're Carlos-Asada.
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!