Worst Jokes Ever

I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.

The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!

When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.

Stephen Hawking tried comedy.

His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."

What's the best part about dead baby jokes?

They never get old.

What do they call me when I jack off?

Pulled pork.

What's the difference between a snowman and a snowgirl?

Snowballs.

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

Lol, mum's gay.

Knock knock...

Who's there?

Not Stephen Hawking.

Whet

A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"

What's the best thing about having sex with a 26-year-old?

There's 20 of them.

Why was the chef embarrassed?

He saw the salad dressing.

Trystan Leonard is going out with Katelynn O'Toole.

Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.

Can't wait for Stephen Hawking's next update.

Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.

What’s weaker than a daffodil? Mundy’s ankles.

Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.