Worst Jokes Ever
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?
There's ate of them.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
Why did Iran, ran?
Iran said, "I ran away!"
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine.
When is a car not a car?
When it's a house.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
Yo mama so fat,
She doesn't fit in a Titan's mouth.
(Attack on Titan; Shingeki no Kyojin)
What is a lot?
Syphilis.
What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?
A pool table.
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.