Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
U were accidental.
Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.
Make like a drum and beat it!
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
Why did my boyfriend leave me?
Because he's gay.
But why did he come back to me?
Because I'm actually a guy :-)
What's a skeleton's favorite meme?
Ken Bone.
What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?
A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.
How many dead strippers does it take to change a light?
At least 13 because my basement is still dark.
What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.
What is the difference between a man peering through the key hole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is rude and nosy.
Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive.
Must be Asian.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and the counter.
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!