A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
Worst Jokes Ever
Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
