Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.
Are you beef?
Because you're Carlos-Asada.
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.
What is black, white, and red all over?
My third wife.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place?
Because he kneaded the dough!
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
Fucking Windows updates!
How do you poop?