Worst Jokes Ever

I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.

You wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Don’t worry, it’s too long.

Why did Hitler say "nein"? Because he just got raped, bitch!

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."

"Is Mrs. Wall here?"

"No."

"Is Mr. Wall here?"

"No."

"Then what is holding up the walls?"

If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, do you take him to PC World or A&E?

I like wine how I like my woman.

4 year old locked in a basement.

I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!

What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?

Eileen.

What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?

A corn stalk!

I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.

What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."

So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.

I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.

But it was only on paper view.

Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?

That it will never get old.