Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:

Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

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  • My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

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  • Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"

    Doctor: "To the morgue."

    Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."

    Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."

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  • Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.

    I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

    I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.

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  • What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?

    You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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  • How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.

    How'd she burn the other side? They called back.

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  • A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"

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