Worst Jokes Ever
Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."
Me: "You never said \"love\"".
Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"
Me: "Frick no."
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
What's similar between a priest and McDonald's?
They both shove their meat in between 10 year old buns.
Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.
What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white...? A dead nun rolling down a hill.
Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?
I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.
Miss you dad.
You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?
Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?
You: Uhhhhhhh
Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.
You: Thank God.
Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...
You: *faints*
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
Ok, there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now. Whoever that is, wanna chat? (I'm just bored)
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B.