Worst Jokes Ever

What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?

Mourning wood.

Why did the chicken go to KFC? ... To visit his family.

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.

If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?

A crookodile.

I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.

Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.

The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.

The son comes outside and steps on a crack.

The dad then dies in a car crash.

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.

What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?

If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!

"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."

COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"

Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."

Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"

Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"

Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."

Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"

Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."

Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"

Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"

Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."

Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"

Q: What is Trump?

A: An oversized oompa loompa.

What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?

They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?

He bought a warehouse.

I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏

Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?

Weird Kid: Magazines.

What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.