If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
What is Hitler's least favorite fish?
Jewfish.
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
Kobe likes his shoes like the way he died.
Air.
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
