Worst Jokes Ever
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
What goes in hard and comes out soft? A toothbrush.
What kind of bee can't fly?
A KOBE.
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
What do you call dead?
(Not Michael Jackson)
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?
"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!