Worst Jokes Ever
What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?
"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
Yo mama so gay, she almost passed away.
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
What game do Emos play?
Fruit Ninja.
(Sorryyyyy Lmaoooo)
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
Michael Jackson.
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
Everything is made in China... except for baby girls.
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.