Worst Jokes Ever
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?
Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
How do stars die?
Normally, an overdose.
Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.