Worst Jokes Ever
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive!
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."
I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
Why are Muslims not fond of American cops?
Because Muslims don't like pigs!
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
In Israel, they don't have Walmarts; they only have Targets.
Jeffery Epstein killed Hitler.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?
A byebyesexual.