Worst Jokes Ever

What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? A small skin flute.

A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.

They're all Predators!

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?

An orphan has all their teeth intact.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?

People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."

Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."

What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.

Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.

What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.

What type of people think rape jokes are funny?

Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.

Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.

Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.